A terrible change of pace

I am in Hell.
Well, maybe not Hell. Maybe lowercase hell. Maybe purgatory. Whatever. It sure ain't Kansas, Toto.
Last Wednesday I was temporarily reassigned from the marketing department to customer service.
There is a lot of pressure to be creative and to meet deadlines in the marketing department. I used to agonize about these details. Fret. Worry.
I long for them now. I miss my old cube. I miss Carol peering through the window to see if I'm at my desk. I miss talking to Brian through our adjoining wall. I miss my old job.
Customer service is a whole different ballgame.
Now, certainly I have had to deal with the public during my working career. At the newspaper, I had to handle many angry calls about stories that were written (or not written) etc. I even had people come to the office to register their opinions or complaints.
What makes this so different is that I not only have to learn what products we are selling and to whom (we serve more than 100 colleges and universities in the southeast), but I have to learn an entirely different telephone system.
Customer service uses a headset and computer. Managers are able to see who is on and off the phones and how many calls are waiting in the queue. Big Brother. Actually, more like Big Sisters. All of the employees in customer service are female with the exception of the vice president. Tech support has guys, but none in customer service. I'm not sure what that indicates. Maybe by the end of my tour of duty (three weeks - or so I'm told) I will have figured it out.
This is not a case of old-dog-new-trick, either. I know I could eventually figure this out. It's just that there is no time to really learn. The need is immediate.
Fortunately, I am training with a good friend. We used to work in the same department before she was moved to customer service and I was sent to marketing.
Mary has been very accommodating and kind. She can sense that I am uncomfortable and out of my element and she has done everything she can to make me comfortable short of giving me Valium and an ice pack.
On Friday, I took a call for new service and as I clicked through the screens and tried to find the information I needed while keeping all the correct windows open and pay attention to the customer, I became overwhelmed. I froze. I took the headset off and told Mary she had better finish the call and I sat in the chair we crammed into her cube for me so I could watch her work.
I felt like I let myself down and Mary down. She kept apologizing (a general, empathetic apology) .
She looked at me and suggested we walk out to my car. I had mentioned that I had animal calendars in my car that I thought she might be interested in, so we walked outside for a little break and that helped settle my nerves.
I have never watched the clock so much in my life. My left wrist is going to have bulging muscles because I keep twisting it to see how much longer before the day ends. That is just a miserable feeling. I have never experienced that before. Even when I had issues with my job, I didn't pay attention to the clock. Now, everything is about the clock. How long you stay off the phone. How long your call is. How long you take lunch. How long is your break. When, oh, when can I go home?
I feel like I am in a car hurtling downhill without any brakes on a curvy dirt road through a forest and the only thing anyone has told me is don't hit the trees.
I don't like the sensation of not having control over myself at work. I ran the newspaper, so I was in total control. At this job, I was moved to marketing without anyone consulting me. And I was volunteered for this temporary job without anyone consulting me.
It's not that the company doesn't have the right to do that - they do. It's just weird. Especially for a control freak like me.
Oh well. I'm trying to do the old 12-Step suggestion "act as if" everything is going to be fine and it will be.
I never thought I would miss my cube.