Is the election over yet?

I had been in the house about 10 minutes. Already, I was deep into the preparation of pork chops smothered in onions and potatoes.
The phone rang.
I picked up a tea towel, wiped my hands and headed for the phone. Of course, it was not in its cradle. It was on the coffee table where the Ump left it last night.
Now I had to hustle, because the answering sometimes picks up on three rings and sometimes on six. I never know which it will be. Things like that keep life exciting.
I grabbed the phone. Wheezed hello into it. Nothing. No one. Nada. Zilch.
At least, I thought so. Just as I was about to hit the "Off" button, I heard a voice.
It sounded strange, yet familiar. He was talking even though there was no conversation going on.
I pressed the receiver to my ear. It was George Bush. George W., that is. Urging me to vote for Jerry Kilgore for governor. His friend, Jerry Kilgore, I believe he said.
Despite it being a commercial for Jerry Kilgore, I listened respectfully all the way through. Well, it was the President, for heaven's sake.
As I hung up the phone, I saw that there were three messages on the answering machine. One was another hang-up. The other two were more political ads. One from Rudy Giuliani and the other from some sort of Right to Life group.
I will be so glad when this election is over.
We came out of church Sunday morning and there were glossy ads stuck under our windshield wipers. Somebody said one of the local supervisor candidates showed up at his brother-in-law's funeral and was campaigning.
Honestly, I'm not sure why anyone runs for political office. There are naysayers out there who would speculate that everyone does it to get something for themselves - to benefit in some direct or indirect way.
I don't believe that. I think that most people enter politics as honest men and women. After 20 years of covering board of supervisor meetings, town councils and school boards, I am almost certain whatever side benefit may be attained by being voted into local political power is outweighed by the crushing dislike the public has in general for its elected officials.
I know how it feels. I was a journalist for almost 20 years. We rank right above lawyers on the food chain.
Negative campaigning - basing your campaign on the defects of your opponent - drives me crazy. I don't believe in making myself look good by standing on the head of my opponent. The ads this year have been particularly brutal - and clever, unfortunately. It would be easier just to hate them if they weren't well done.
Everyone says those negative ads are awful, but the truth is that they are effective. People remember them.
The same argument used to be made to me as the editor of a newspaper. "Why don't you print good news?"
Well, I did publish good news. And the weeks that we had "bad news" on the front page - scandals, murder trials, disasters - far out-sold the good issues. At best, it's a double-edged sword.
So here we are on the eve of Election Day. All the candidates are saying their prayers (if they do that sort of thing) and crossing things off their last-minute list of stuff to do.
The Ump and I will hit the polls tomorrow morning before 7 a.m. probably. We like to go early and get it over with. Then it is all over but the waiting.
All over, that is, until the next election.